My 6th Line Experience as a 4/6 Emotional Manifestor
When I look back on my 1st 3rd line phase with my now awareness of being “on the roof”, all I can say is OOF. The amount of times I jumped into something 150% and made 3953290235 mistakes without having the awareness of what I was doing is ridiculous. I’m not mad about it – now, I can gratefully reflect on the first 30 years of my life with more knowledge of WHY my life was the way that it was and the many lessons I learned.
My 6th line is unconscious, which is why I was so lost in the trial-by-error phase of my life. However, as I learn more about Human Design, I am developing a deeper awareness of the unconscious aspects of my design.
Try harder would be a great way to describe my first 30 years. Everything I did, it seemed to never be good enough (my completely open heart played a role in this as well). The companies I launched never seemed to be successful, I didn’t make a lot of money, even though I did everything right by the books. I was really hard on myself for it, and felt like a complete screw-up at times.
Resiliency is definitely something 3rd lines develop naturally, but as a 6th line in their first phase, it can feel very defeating. We just can’t take as much as true 3rd lines.
There was a shift between the ages of 29 to 32 that I felt very deeply – groups of friends changing, relationships ending, my need to go out and try everything, my need to physically try new things – all began to diminish. It was like I was slowly climbing a ladder onto the roof, looking back on the life I used to live, wanting to live it, but was being pushed forward to chill the eff out. It felt a bit like pulling teeth. I wasn’t sure WHY I didn’t have the same drive to travel, to experience new things, to hang out with the same people… and the more I tried to do it, the more resistance I felt within and around me.
I felt the biggest shift at 32 – I had to stop running, because of a chronic injury in my right side that cramped up. I kept trying to surf, but was getting knocked on my butt every.single.time. until a freak accident of tearing ligaments in my foot made me sit still for a few months. It seemed that everything I was trying to do, I was being told to STOP. To reflect on my life, and see what was worth doing, or not. What was I doing that wasn’t necessary? What could I change?
It felt a bit foreign, as I still longed for the feeling my old adventures provided me, but there was a new me emerging. I didn’t feel as strong of a pull to DO. I just wanted to sit back and observe. I wanted to evaluate why I did the things I did, and determine if they were still of value to me. I became very picky about the people I hung out with. I stopped talking to people I didn’t want to talk to. This climbing onto the roof thing was not something I could control – it was just an organic emergence of a deeper shift, something that provided more meaning and consciousness to the decisions I made in my life.
I’m finding that it is reallllly cozy up here. Does something or someone add value to my life? Is it worth my time? I am a lot more picky, but it feels right. It’s like I’ve been given a chance to curl up on a cozy couch and just people watch for the next 15 years. How could anyone say no to that?
And while this roof thing it’s still new for me, I am fully embracing it for as long as I can. I’ve heard Ra talk about 6th lines that come off the roof become 3rd lines again. Definitely with more awareness, but I think I’ll enjoy my time up here for now ;).