These thoughts, they consume my mind. All I want to do is run and hide, crying till I can’t see.
But I must face them, as hard as they might be – and cast them out of the dark corners
of my mind, into the light. Embrace what they are, face them, love them –
and acknowledge them for what they truly are…
The thought of meditation causes my brain to go in uproar – sit silent, even just for 5 minutes?
I’ll do it later. When I get home. Before I go to bed. And before I know it,
I’m in bed. Exhausted from my days thoughts, too exhausted to meditate.
The ego has won.
Until I do take those 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes. And I sit. This feeling of emptiness overtakes
me, I am free from my thoughts. Free of those thoughts that put me into a tailspin,
put life on a pedestal and make me want to scream. I am free. No more baggage.
No more heartache. No more worries. Take me away, meditation, I never want to return.
And my ego knocks. And reality sets in. And I’m back, back to where
my mind fought to stay, back to where I drifted away from,
where I never wanted to return.
Yet I remember those moments of silence, appreciating them, feeling their resonance
in my heart, in my mind. And I carry a lighter load,
even if it’s just for a while.
I really needed to see this. My mind wandered the whole day. I cried and now I know i should put my mind at peace for awhile.
I hear you! Rough days are the worst… The mind is hard to control sometimes. Glad this helped! Hope you are feeling better <3
Just saw that you have a blog! Totally following via rss feed, and trying to friend you on good reads! 🙂
Hey! I am not sure how rss feed works.. do you have a follow option on your blog?
I too search for that close and quiet relationship with God. I enjoyed reading your post.